What’s going on man? My name’s Issam from Dope Life Coaching.com, New York’s youngest endorsed dating & relationship coach. The topic of today’s video is going to be when a woman gets distant, or she backs off, or when she’s acting hot and cold.
Now before I get into my video, I’d just like to talk about, for you, to his the subscribe button below. And if you want to book a one-on-one session on my website, the quickest way is to go to https://www.dopelifecoaching.com/book-online and we have free consultations for first times. So make sure all you badasses take advantage of that as soon as possible!
So, basically, our email is from one of my clients – his name is David. I mean, he’s not exactly a client yet, but he’s going to be a client. I already know this. So David sent an email on my email list on the website. For those of you that don’t know, just go to the home page all the way down and you can send an email for free and I’ll just answer it.
So what happened was he sent an email. His request was, “What do I do about the fact that my girlfriend has been hot and cold lately?” Or, she’s been distant. And since he didn’t specify, I am just going to go over whatever I can.
When a woman backs off of you, like that, there are usually multiple reasons.
#1. She could be on her period. Maybe it has nothing to do with you.
2. Maybe you said something stupid or something that turned her off and she doesn’t have any…you know, she doesn’t want to talk about it yet. Or maybe she’s uncomfortable with it or she’s just turned off to the point that she doesn’t want to talk about it.
Or it could just be that she’s busy. I mean, what is it right now? Late April? She has exams to deal with dude. Be patient, you’re part of Team Dope, come on.
Seriously though, when women do something like that, it’s usually those cases. Either she’s too busy with, like exams and stuff, I mean, nevermind – what the fuck did I just say?
There’s no such thing as too busy, but either she’s busy with exams or busy with something on the side for just a temporary period, in which case you should just relax and pull back. Maybe don’t text her as often – text her once per day, maybe, because she’s kind of your girlfriend, dude. Come on!
Text her once per day and be like, “ Hey Babe. I just hope your day is going awesome and I was thinking about you. “ And that’s it! And let her respond when she responds. Just show you care and don’t be too pushy.
Do that – that’s if she just backs off. Because you want to know what happened. Then if she’s giving you just one-word answers, be like, “Is everything fine?” Dig deeper. And then if she says just yeah, and doesn’t explain then obviously you have to dig deeper. In which case you should probably call her later on in the day. Be like, “When are you free later on so you can talk on the phone? I want to hear your voice!” And then you find out what’s wrong with her, because texting is a big space for miscommunication and it tends to get fucked up a lot of the times by both guys and girls. So that’s one reason.
The other reason could be just her period. She just, you know, women’s emotions fluctuate, bro. That’s just how it is. Come on, bro. Gotta deal with it. Sometimes she’s hot, sometimes she’s cold. Sometimes she’s hot, sometimes she’s cold. Sometimes she has other things going on. Sometimes she hears a story from one of her girlfriends that made her feel very emotional and sad and distant. I don’t know. It could be anything. Or maybe she talks to her girlfriends about you and then she said something about you to them and they were just like, “Oh, he shouldn’t have done that.” So maybe she’s going to grow distance, because that’s just how women are, bro, sometimes. Don’t take it personally.
So, what do we say? Busy or she’s on her period or she could just be upset with you, in which case you have to communicate and you have to talk to her, like I said, tell her when she’s free so you guys can both talk.
But the idea is, like, which is more important than all of this which is this point right here. You have to be able to maintain your emotional stability and your emotional, you know, sense of wellbeing. The moment a woman realizes that she is the center of your entire life and nothing in your life is more important except for her, and you basically can’t live without her, then she is going to back off and it’s just a matter of time before she leaves. Come on dude, like you have to maintain emotional stability, an emotional sense of wellbeing. You have to maintain emotional independence.
Emotional Independence. That’s the thing that is going to attract her. Because when she notices that, no matter what she does, you’re still going to be working on yourself and improving yourself. That doesn’t phase you, that you’re still going to be working on yourself if she backs off, it doesn’t phase you. She wants to see this, bro! Come on man, you’re a badass. The fact that you’re a part of my team now makes you a badass, unless you want to go to the mediocre team, which we’re definitely not a part of. Go ahead and do that. Oh man, I’m being too much right now.
But anyway, that’s what a woman wants to see. She wants to see that you have your own emotional strength and your own shit together. And god forbid, if she were to pass, or if she were to choose to leave you, that you’re not just going to lose your shit and not be able to take care of yourself. She wants to see this. She wants to see that you’re emotionally independent and that you can do well on your own. And that you’d love to have her in your life, even if you’re crazy about her, and she knows this. But at the end of the day, you’re a guy who’s emotionally independent and you have limits.
That could be something else. Maybe she’s just getting used to just not talking to you and blacking you out and blocking you off from her life for days at a time, when one thing goes wrong. In which case, you don’t just pass that. You say you’re sorry when you noticed that you did something wrong or fucked up. But she has to be able to accept your apology. She can’t just keep going on about it know that he’s just going to keep chasing me. That’s fine.
No, that’s not fine! Sometimes you have to be serious like that and draw the line. Women love it when a man has limits, because she’s going to test you at some point, to see if you really have those limits. To see if you’re about that life, like you claim you are.
So it could be a variety of things but the idea is to stay true to yourself and be emotionally independent. Have your own sense of emotional wellbeing. Because most guys don’t know this, bro. Most guys, they just think, they think in terms of logic and reason, whereas women don’t. They’re like, “Oh, she was crazy about me three days ago, but now she’s not.” Women are very in the moment and it depends on their emotions.
Us guys think logic and reason. Logic and reason, logic and reason, logic and reason. They’re different. Our brains are different from theirs. Some similarities, yes. But for the most part, no. So you have to understand this, man. The emotional independence. You’re happy independent of her. Of course you’ll be much more happy with her, if she’s your girlfriend, I assume you really love her and are crazy about her, which ideally is what it should be. If not, then come on man, you need my coaching. You need one-on-one coaching with me, bro. No, but for real. If that’s the case, then you should at least definitely try to improve your relationship, to say the least.
So that pretty much covers everything. If you would like to get my help personally, like I said, the quickest way is to book a paid coaching session on my website, https://www.dopelifecoaching.com/book-online.
Free consultations for first timers – free 10 minute consultation. Take advantage of that as soon as possible because, who knows, maybe it’s going to go away by tomorrow. Limited time, bro. Come on, you should know this by now.
That pretty much wraps up the video. That’s pretty much it. Be a badass. Dominate your life. Be emotionally independent and focus on yourself and communicate properly.
Peace dude.
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